THE HOLE IN THE FLAG

You see, the problem down here at the arse-end of Africa, is that we have all these noble and lofty ideals, we have the finest (no, seriously) constitution, probably in the whole wide world (I swear my tongue is not in my cheek) - those earnest little drafters and dreamers who cobbled this thing together had the divine blessing of being able to draw on the centuries of history and experience which preceded them and I am convinced that they had the best intentions in the world.

But, you know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions (did I really have to type all that? - you knew what I was going to say. So boring.) --> and then there's the other corny but equally true, if slightly oblique wisdomism, "No good deed goes unpunished".

As they say in certain parts of the Cape Flats, "Astroo, my broo," I sincerely believe that those draftsmen were pure of heart and soul, and that they genuinely sought out the best and choicest of legal provisions in their earnest desire to get us as close as possible to becoming Utopia (no, you didn't hear me say "dystopia") in Africa.

So what did we get?

Those memorable lines from the 1960's rock opera "Hair" come to mind:

"I'm falling ... I'm falling through a hole in the flag!"

---> "Om mane padme om

On mane padme om

Folding the flag means taking care of the nation.

Folding the flag is putting it to bed for the night.

I fell through a hole in the flag

I'm falling through a hole in the flag

Help!

"Don't put it down

Best one around

Crazy for the red blue and white

Crazy for the red blue and white

"You look at me

What do you see

Crazy for the white red and blue

Crazy for the white red and blue

"Cause I look different

You think I'm subversive

Crazy for the blue white and red

Crazy for the blue white and red

"My heart beats true

For the red white and blue

Crazy for the blue white and red

Crazy for the blue white and red

And yellow fringe

Crazy for the blue white red and yellow"

Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher

source: https://www.lyricsondemand.com/soundtracks/h/hairlyrics/dontputitdownlyrics.html

Verily, so many of us - so very, very many of us - have fallen through a hole through the flag!

I have said this before, though no-one is listening, and yet I'm going to say it again: Americans think they have a problem with a hole in their flag (in the sense that their constitution has let them down) - well, jirre fok boet! - we've got a hole the size of the Great Hole of Kimberly in our flag! -->

THERE IS NO SAFETY NET IN SOUTH AFRICA! If you fall off that highwire, that narrow bridge of law and order and Western ideals and the concept of a civilised life, with a regular job and a salary and a medical aid and a pension and good health and braaivleis and sunshine and Toyota and sanity and all those blessings - you're fucked.

I'm sorry that I had to swear up there. I forswore swearing. I said it was infra-dig and demeaning and that I would never do it again (but I did retain a mental reservation for exceptional cases. This is an exceptional case. As you were, ladies and gentlemen).

And our glorious constitution is not the safety net that it should have been.

© Harry Friedland

September 2022