BARUCH'S COFFEE SHOP

 PS: One day, in the little coastal fishing town of Mossel Bay, I came across "Baruch's Coffe Shop". No doubt about it, "Baruch's Coffe Shop" was established by a Jew. Probably an Israeli Jew, Thought I.

Curiosity got the better of me. On an impulse, I went in.
"I want to speak to Baruch" I demanded.
Out comes a youngish guy with a pony tail.
"Are you Baruch?" I asked
"Yeah, " says he, with "that accent"
"What the hell is a guy like you doing in a place like this?"

I think he thought I was about to complain about something, because he had tensed up in that characteristic way that Israelis do when they are getting ready for a fight (no sane Israeli takes an insult without fighting back) - but he instantly relaxed when he heard my question, and he went into story-telling mode instead (another favourite Israeli passtime).

"Well," he began, "I used to work on a Kibbutz in Afula, where they hired a lot of young travellers. One day a beautiful girl came to work on the Kibbutz. She couldn't speak Hebrew and she spoke terrible English. I thought she was Dutch, because we are used to Dutch tourists, but then she explained that she came from South Africa and the language was Afrikaans, which comes from Dutch. I said I would teach her Hebrew, and I did. She learned very fast and very well. In fact she learned so fast and so well that she fell pregnant.

So we came here to get married. The Afrikaners are very friendly and they treated me like a hero and kept talking about the 6-day war, which was actually before my time. Apparently it was a big deal for them, even if it was before my time.

We have two boys, who go to school here and talk Afrikaans, but they've met their Israeli family, and more of them came here. Do you know that its a scientific fact that this place has the most perfect climate in the world?"

"I know" I said, "My wife comes from here"

When I left, I think I left my solid gold Parker pen on the counter but when I went back 5 minutes later to ask about it, he denied it.

Damn Israelis.

But every time I go to Mossel Bay, I have coffee at Baruch's Coffee Shop. We are the best of frienemies.