IN OLD AGE

 Don’t cling to old dreams of long-ago youth

Like withered leaves, let them fall and be devoured by the earth

They are no use anymore, save to taunt and discomfort

This chair, this table, this machine – these are my reality.

 

I will not survive this plague

I will not come out the other side

I will go down into oblivion

I will try not to fear

The unknown, the opaque darkness

Or whatever lies beyond

Perhaps even - nothing

 

Sail on, sail on, great ship

Don’t wait for those who fail – they only delay you

It never occurred to me: this is my destination

I’ve been dead for a while now – unknowing, I died

And now just awaiting judgement,

The cold hand on my shoulder

And me, too afraid to turn and face that face

And then that last, that final death.

 

Well it’s better than Alzheimer’s

That intersection between death-in-life

And life-in-death

No-one visiting you in “The Home”,

Because you have become unbearable

- Who wants to contemplate a vacuum

Where someone once existed?

 

And it’s only slightly worse than pneumonia

“The Old Man’s Friend”, they called it

A quick release from suffering

Forty-eight hours, they said

Quite merciful, after abject suffering

The end of all doubts and fears

Hopes, ambitions, prayers and petitions

 

A gentle breeze moves the branches and the leaves

Patches of sunlight or rain strike the long grass, each in their season

The air carries no human voice or cry of animal

No souls hide between tombstones

in this profoundly peaceful place

Just

The sigh of wind through leaves, blades and branches

The ghost of a sigh that once passed human lips

 

The truth that ancient ancestors told

In parables whose meanings we forgot

Be kind, love thy neighbor, be true, be yourself.